I recognize the subtitle of this collection of writings is “learning to enjoy the journey.”
And I try to keep that in mind as I write.
But there are times I simply can’t. I want the pain to stop and I want to move forward to the next experience.
The journey lingers too long in one spot and the enjoyment sours.
Then ferments.
Then rots.
Now is one of those times. I want to be joyful. I want to be happy. I’d like to enjoy what happens around me, but there is no deliverance, it seems , other than my own actions.
There is no way to get out, but to drag myself by my own bootstraps.
I recognize this is partially untrue. I have seen angelic blessings in the last few weeks as we’ve started to pull ourselves out. There are things we cannot (and should not) do alone.
And the few things there are, we have had miraculous help with.
But the rest? Challenges. Trials. Struggles. Breaks in sanity.
I broke like this once before.
I hope the dross that is needful to eliminate is burnt out quickly.
I don’t know how much longer I can hold on to the good that must remain.