The title probably sounds more interesting than the post will be.
A lot of years ago I was dating a girl who seemed really normal. And then, in passing, she mentioned she has been to Disneyworld at least 10 times in her life.
At that point I knew she was extremely well off. (Not solely because of the Disneyworld comment, but it was the final piece of information that made everything click for me.)
I inquired a lot more about the entire situation, and she was more than willing to share. What impressed me was I couldn’t tell she was extremely well off.
We all know the rich kid who flaunts parental wealth, and we hate the child the parents spoiled. The girl was nothing like that.
Part of it came from growing up in areas where they were not the most wealthy person around. Having significant personal wealth and living around millionaires and billionaires keeps you humble, apparently.
They also didn’t spend money on things. (Well, they did, but their home was decorated with beautiful things specifically chosen, and not just thrown around.) Their version of birthday and holiday gift-giving was a nice meal out as a family, a few needful things as gifts, and that was pretty much it.
Family vacations were 7-10 days in cool places, but often included a service component. This helped the children (all three) retain a down to earth and connected sense of belonging as a member of humanity.
None of this is prescriptive. Simply things I observed. But somewhere in there is a way to raise kids who aren’t spoiled. At an abstract level, some truths likely surface and can be applied to your situation, to avoid spoiling your kids.