Results of physical abuse

Nearly a decade ago, I spent 2-4 hours running, jumping, and moving with intensity five or more days per week.

Since then I stopped almost cold turkey.

The last 2-3 years, I’ve noticed a heavy pall settle over me. A momentum of stillness. As it settles, I want to move less and less.

And now when I do move, I feel it everywhere.

What used to be a strength to me (my physical body and what I could do with it), has become one of the weakest parts of me

My physical abuse isn’t beating. Simply neglect. I can make excuses that “I don’t have enough to time” or “but it’s hard.”

But that’s all they are. Excuses. And excuses aren’t going to reverse the effects.

When I wake up aching in every joint, that’s my fault for not treating myself correctly the last 10 years.

That’s my fault for not eating in a way that supports health.

That’s my fault for letting the momentum of stillness enlarge my lazy mass so that altering that momentum takes significantly more effort.

There is a way to heal. There are ways to recover.

But it’s going to take a lot more focus that I ever gave it when I was exercising regularly.

I have to be committed to the momentum of moving. And, like a train or a cargo ship, it’s going to take a long time to get up to speed.