Staying in my lane

I strongly believe God helps those who help themselves.

This leads to actions I take.

It also leads to me relying on me. It doesn’t lead to me staying focused on anything but what I want.

There’s a balance, somewhere, I’m sure. But by relying only on me—even when I think I’m trying to rely on God—I get overwhelmed and loose focus.

I’m the long run, this is a path to apostasy. To a lack of faith. To the belief I can do anything—or to the opposite. Which is where I think I have been recently.

Simply despondent and believing I’m not capable enough to be functional.

Although that conclusion isn’t true, it’s seemed true. Because I set my goals so high.

But I set high goals and then I stopped relying on God the way I had been when I set the goals.

Hence rude awakening. I certainly can’t save myself. I need a Savior. The Law requires it.

And so there is only so far I can get myself. And that isn’t very far at all. So I need to be humble. Look deep. And then look up. Invite help. And then do what I am told.

Rather than what I think I ought to.

What I ought to do might be good. But it will never be enough. I need Help.