Stow the pride

I started the process of applying for a job that is held in pretty high regard.

And I made it through the first few steps of the process. Which I didn’t expect. So I figured I ought to ride out the process till they said no.

As the time stretched out, I came the the understanding I was probably only sticking with the application process for prideful reasons.

So when I finally had a chance to meet and talk with employees—two months into the process—and was denied entry to the virtual event, I sent an email inquiring why.

The response was I could wait till the next opportunity a month later.

But I had a one on one scheduled for later that day, so I showed up in the virtual lobby 20 mins early, and two minutes before I received an email stating the one on one was canceled because I hadn’t been to the first meeting.

I responded with a strong request to have someone show up.

And the response was a fiery censure full of frustration, vitriol, questioning of my integrity, and demand for an apology or I would simply be eliminated from consideration.

Obviously a bit frustrated, I composed many replies, deleting all of them before realizing if belittling, leadership lacking humility and compassion, and self-centeredness was not something I had any interest in enduring while working for an organization that prides itself in integrity and leadership.

So I got another reminder that it’s more important to be human and treat everyone like humans than it is to sate my pride and potentially lose my humanity.

I’m reminded that pride is universal and its impact is never positive.

The impact of pride is always separation and division.

And deep down that’s not what I want to become.

So I had to stow my pride in the desire for that job, stow it in my (potentially) justified responses, and stow it by being the one to withdraw rather than being disqualified by someone else.