So I stand on the door of becoming a dad. (A life goal.) And I don’t have a job.
This obviously has some triggers for me. I like to be prepared. I like to have the plan. I feel (usually) like I’m saving myself.
And yet this isn’t the current case. This is (should be) just as faith-centered as our various moves and decisions have been.
I like to believe my desires to the rely on God. But many of my actions (especially recently) haven’t shown that.
And I’ve certainly been frustrated enough with non-comprehension that I haven’t been seeking His will like I did in December and January.
Which led to us being in our situation now. Still looking for why there.
And that’s ok. Having life feel like it’s been completely ripped out from under me is likely to happen. Not knowing why is going to happen.
Purpose, reason, and intent don’t come without time, separation, and analysis. Hind sight is 20/20, as they say.
Has this been a frustrating year? Yes. Has it been humbling? Yes.
Is the lesson I think I’m coming to the same lesson I should have already learned? Yes.
So, repentance and humility are what are needed now. And effort separating the nuance.