Taking it as a good sign

When I was young, I’d often stay up long after bedtime, just thinking.

My parents wondered why I wouldn’t go to sleep. I don’t know that they ever understood.

I struggled (am struggling) going to sleep tonight.

I likely have two challenging conversations that will occur at work tomorrow.

I’ve been running through everything I’d like to say (but won’t) for the last 3-4 hours.

That way, I’ve “said” everything I need to and I can take the conversation as it happens, when it happens.

At some level this makes me much more willing to accept getting walked all over, but it also makes me more humble and able to find things that I can improve.

Having said that, I know having conversations in my head with real people is a coping mechanism. (Of what, I’m not sure.)

I don’t naturally understand human interaction, so it gives me a good idea what I can and cannot say.